Ever get the feeling that you are not really living; just kind of floating? Its an all encompassing feeling that sort of takes your breath away.
Or you’re just going through your day, doing the normal every day things when you get hit in the chest with the feeling “when the fuck did this become my life?”
No? I envy you…maybe. Or maybe you just haven’t gotten to that place yet. In that case, hold on.
In nearly every way possible, my life looked totally different exactly 3 years ago.
Almost every aspect of my world as I knew it has changed. Some if it changed in an instant; like world turning upside down kind of stuff. Some of it was gradual. Like tearing off an enormous bandadge hair by hair.
Although most of these life altering changes have been quite traumatic; it hasn’t all been world end-y.
Some of it has been wonderful.
The biggest and most incredible change being the birth of my best friend – my son. The human who literally saved my life.
Ive also began a journey of finding myself. Taking the time to listen to my inner voice…yea, I know..sounds like some new age hippie bullshit. Some of it is. But mostly its more like Oh shit everything I knew to be real and solid and true is no longer and I have no damn clue how to do this whole life thing now. Guess its time to figure out me.
That probably doesnt sound so wonderful Im sure. Sounds maybe painful and scary. Yup. Totally. Also its super exciting and liberating.
Its been a roller coaster and the ride isn’t close to being over.
So I guess this is where I will start this journey with you..hope youll stick around.
Maybe, hopefully, we will end up with less of the floating and more of the living.